Im going to sleep early today at my old room when i used to be single at my parent's house. My old bed:) just a single bed. But i gained so much weight I may have a hard time sleeping at my old bed.

Tom I have an interview with the French Embassy at Pacific Star Bldg. Makati. I need goodluck. Hope we will obtain a new visa. Goodnight my dear husband Mike and my dear dog star hope to see you soon starboy. Mama misses you.

my daily habits

i decided i should write more often to release whatever emotions i have for the day. this should be atleast a weekly habit. Well, one thing for sure is I'm still a devotee of Padre Pio and Saint Gianna. As i choose them to be the names of my future babies. For a girl, her name will be Gianna Sophia Marie or Gianna Sophia Rhianne. for a boy, Carlisle if the first name of course:) Carlisle Francis Pio. from the island of Carl in UK a very old place or town in UK. I just like they way it sounds. we can name him carl.

Last night we ate at Nuvali. At ClAW dADDY. I was too full and sleepy on our way home. Now, I am thinking of another business to open by January when i get back from London. It all depends on how much money I will make this christmas:) I hope i wont spend much on London. I wish for next year we wont depend on credit card. I wish this year we can pay off our bills.

so you see? writing is good. it clears away my thoughts and put them like in folders. then you can review it as time flies by. I need to bath at this time now. will write again. later.

Sick

I just came back from Palawan. After spending 4 days and 3 nights away from Mike, i am now resentful because I just got stressed from that trip cause I got sick. Sore throat is the main cause of it. Now i don't eat a lot. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to stop eating lol. Happy birthday Mama Mary! We love you! Yes Sept 8 is believed to be her birthday. Hope she is happy with all her well wishers. MamaMary intercede for all infertile couples out there who wants to be blessed with a child thru a healthy pregnancy.

Pursuing IVF at 28

So I'm 28 this October and I'll be in London with my dad to visit my brother's family. I was so busy the past few months and it's only now I realized i did not even visit this blog and never mentioned that I already have a diaper store:) yes, my very own store.

Anyway, ive been preparing myself now for my IVF next year. probably October next year. So I am a little more determined to loose weight:) (Not when I'm upset cause i eat a lot).

Oh Padre Pio, please help us. Intercede for me and Michael on our next journey. I need to heal spiritually. Emotional acceptance is what i need. And forgiveness to all those who had hurt me in the past with this incredible journey. Help us financially too that my store wont loose so much money from all the misfortunes in a week's time. guide us and protect us. i love you Padre Pio!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter everyone! I just feel happy today afetr a long Tagaytay Journey. Attendting mass precided by Father Fernando Suarez made me feel better, that I am not alone and that I am blessed because I may not be 100% healthy but atleast I am alive and not suffering from a life threatening illness. I may be childless, yet:) But as years passed by, my hopes may have lessen but atleast I have accepted things more these days. I try as much as possible to be healthier each day and live a simple life.

I should better write down my spiritual journey. Late last year after my confession with a priest at Mountain of Salvation, my feeling was lighter. It was as if I can breathe better (spiritually I mean.) Faith became stronger. And months have passed now and things have changed for the better. When you embrace God into your life without questions, and live in His will, fears will dissipate. Not in an instant prehaps but time will come wherein you will feel that you're no longer resisting his plans but instead, embracing life that was planned for you.

Change Of Plans

So much have happened the past few months. I quit my job after being so stressed and loosing so much weight, I decided I want my old life back. I may earn more money when I'm working but I don't have a peace of mind. What is work without inner peace? Come March 2011, I decided to pursue my online store again. With much help from a very good friend who used to be my client as well, Ynah brought me back to my world of selling. This may be a good start, however I had difficulties with my first bazaar. But I'm still positive. Business is business, thing here are learned the hard way.

Plus the fact I will travel a lot this year. I may be stressed with everything but since Traveling will be my major role this year, I need to focus and learn how to succeed in online selling. I still Pray to you Padre Pio to please guide me.

Having a baby is the least of my priority now. I need to save. I've been helping my husband now pay our debts since he failed the exam. No time to waste.

After reading my ivf entry the past few months, It's good to know that I had that goal, but I need to postpone it. I need to fix myslef up and stay focused on my business.

Love and prayers,

Rose

ivf at 28

After much discussion and prayers, we have decided to pursue IVF by December 2011. It's like preparing for a wedding, looking and searching for doctors and IVF Centers not just in Manila but through out Philippines and southeast Asia as well.

I recently turned 27 and my birthday was not a good one. I had birthday blues. I spent my day praying at st. Jude with my very good friend, Luan, (Carlisle's soon to be Godmother) who gladly accepted to accompany me to St. Jude. I don't normally go there, only on few occasions. I just wanted to beg, mostly to get pregnant and finally give birth. A long awaited dream. Girls around my age wishes and dreams of having their own condo's, or dreams on having the grandest vacation but I'm one of the few ones who wishes to be mother.

Patients with the following conditions relatively need IVF:

• Long Duration of Infertility
• Advanced maternal age (more than 35 years old)
• Severe endometriosis
• Couples that are very infrequently together (e.g. overseas workers)
• Polycystic ovaries that respond only to high doses of gonadotropins
• Polycystic ovaries that have an excessive multifollicular response to ovarian stimulation
• Cancer patients desiring fertility preservation

Ironic isn't it?

Anyway, I know can explain my infertility. As Repro Optima Cebu mentioned, i only respond to high doses of gonadrophins. So this may be a very long journey but I am willing to take it.