Taken last
Janurary 6, 2016, twins turn 3 ALREADY and as a working mom I was not able to ettend their simple candle blowing at school:(

This was taken last Janurary 6, 2015 when they turned two years old! how time flies~

Happy second bday my twins

wow i cannot belive i havent written anything for 2014 and now its 2015. Last Jan 6, anthony carlyle & gianna lily just turned two years old! can you believe that? updates: they go to infants and toddlers discovery center at bf homes paranaque. they love to play and very makulit sila.

Update: You are now 7 months

Im sorry my twins for not being keen on writing since I had been so lazy and well, i dont have much access on internet since we are now living in Alabang since you got home from the hospital. But I do manage to update your baby books:)

@ 7 months, Gianna can crawl on her belly, loves to eat and can sleep longer, got hospitalized at Binan doctors, laughs and plays with Carlyle (loves to grab toys around the house) can sit in a walker, cries when we clean her nose, can intake 5 oz of milk. Loves to eat Marie biscuits etc

Carlyle can turn from side to side, rest on his tummy, loves to thumbsuck, is a self soother (can put himself to sleep), loves to eat breadsticks, laughs and plays with his mouth making rain

Goodbye 2012

Goodbye 2012!

It's been a good year for me and my husband Mike. Although at the first quarter of the year, I was sick with bad cough and bad allergies. The best part was deciding to go back to Dra. Morin and she helped me get pregnant. June was our special month because we did get pregnant! 

Christmas Time

Merry Christmas My Twins!

carlyle and gianna,

Merry Christmas darling babies! Oh words cannot express how much dada and I love you both! Your first gifts are from Owa and Owo, teddy bears! I will upload pictures once I use the laptop:) 

It has been a tradition that our family stays in a hotel for Christmas Eve (Kuya Star is always left alone in the house) And this  year same as last year we are staying at Manila Peninsula Hotel in Makati City. We had dinner buffet around 8:30 pm and instead of going to mass tonight at 10 pm we just waited for midnight to come. 

Next year this time around you are around 11 months and for sure you will be handful:) Ive been awake for one hour because you guys got hungry bec mama just ate a little for dinner. I will sleep now its 3:15am goodnight my twins

30 Weeks and Counting

Dearest Carlisle and Gianna,

I had written a blog about your gender prior to this one but I haven't posted it yet. Anyway, we are now 30 weeks from yesterday. and as usual, things got a little dramatic when I texted Dra De Jesus that i was having contractions and we were ordered to have Non Stress Test for both of you. So you see, Mommy is a little worried you will be out soon and Daddy Mikee panicked. 

Its not a great experience after all because two nights ago, Dec 6 it was lola Evie's birthday so we ate at King Bee. That same night, I was in pain i couldn't move. I barely can walk and Daddy had to help me. Even at night I had to ask daddy to help me get up. Daddy loves us so much we dont want you out yet because it will be harder for everyone. We want what is best for you so If I had to stay in bed for 6 weeks I will do it. 

We love you both. Hang in there and pls cooperate. 

May 3, 2008 diary

To My future first born,

As I write to you my first journal entry let me emphasize how precious you are to me. I have so many stories to share with you. i dont even knoew where to start, on which chapter i may say. Life suffering from infertility is shattering. There are times that i want to give up for there are lonely days. I am still learning. I am just 24 and i have suffered from a painful miscarriage. I have been to several doctors, several treatments...so far syempre wala padin result. but I am still hoping with the grace of God that the Lord will give me enough strenght and patience. I am just being sentimental because my journey has been long (long enough for me).

Anyway, your father Mike had his first gym visit today. (its for your daddy too he suffered from TIA) In just a few days your dad will be exactly a year afetr suffering from this illness. But he has lost a lot of weight. Maybe you can see naman sa pictures.

About me today, I have a very heavy period which made me domesticated today. I forgot to tell you that I am goig back to work. It was last December 5,2006 when i last worked. I am so opften bored with my life just waiting for the day to see you. If you will ask me someday what I do everyday here's my answer. I eat (which made me heavier!), I sleep often, I surf the net but I am not techie, I read a lot and do the same old stuff. "Kawawa naman ako" I usually say that kaya good for me ill be back sq corporate world. I just hope this time I will be able to stay long enough para magka maternity benefits.

Here are some names I'd like you to have. Miguel Lorenzo (if twins +) Gabriel Angelo. If girl naman nickename Zia name Joanne Zia. It means light in arabic.

x'cess: Ate sasa is sleeping half of the time I was writing. I hope maabutan mo si ate.

Our letter to dada

Dear Dada, 

 I love you so much even if i don't tell you often. I am blessed to have you as my partner in life. You are always there to support me. Even if we weren't married yet you supported me and maybe you dont remember things as much  as i do. You bought me pants and pink blouse and a green one for my first job at convergys. You subscribed real living for me even  if we both know I am not a practicing designer. You used to do my homework when i had no computer or my internet was down. Maybe you forgot those already im pretty sure but those little things made me fall in love with you. 

Now that we are expecting two babies, I know you will be the best father for them. I just hope you would not spoil them. dada mahirap man at magastos basta magkakasama tayo apat at healthy tayong lahat ok na sa akin. I dont want branded items for our kids i just want what is essential for them. Do not stress yourself before they arrive lets just enjoy our remaining days together just the two of us because sure ako major adjustment  pagdating nila. I will expect a reply from you.

Pre Term Labor experience

Our first official hospitalization happened around 9:45 pm at Asian hospital September 8 2012. Mommy knew something was up when i was having contractions during the day. I tried to sleep on it. It was a Saturday so I even begged daddy, can we not go home please? He insisted for us to go home to Alabang. We went dirst to the shop and then a delivery to Lola Tess at Ayala and I think that made things worse be ause when We were on our way home, I was having pain already in my buttocks. Arriving home, yaya Eden was already at her province so daddy and I were alone. When grandparents came, Dada had fever already:( Poor dady! I was taking care of him when I peed and saw blood in my tissue after wiping. I did not freak outp as much because I saw brown blood. Brown means old blood so I wasnt that scared. I had to text Ninang Maan's mom so we can have peace of mind when she instructed me to go to to Asian because I may have pre term labor, oh that scared me:( I dont want you early yet! Too early because you will never have a chance of survival at this stage. Dada was so guilty because I was scolding him saying I told you I was not feeling well which I was not faking. Something could have happened and I wouldnt forget how much panic it hit us that you were both in danger. 

But I remember funny things:) Carlisle you like to play with dopler machines! Each time a nurse tried to catch you and get your pulse rate, you were so ON in playing hide and seek! Which Zachary will usually just cooperate even on ultrasounds:) You showed your back and spine Carlisle while Zac i had to admit I couldnt figure out your face! All because you were lying on your placenta baby:) I thought it was part of your face. Zac you are so handsome! you showed yournlittle face already:) Pretty boy:) 

I am just glad and thankful to the Lord that Dada is getting better and you are just ok. The pain has stopped last night. It was just the nasty IV insertion that bothered me all the while. I learned my lesson not to push my pupu even if it was bothering me:( I did not sleep while we were at Genesis, the Icu of pregnant moms at Asian. Dada had to leave us at 5am because his fever was high and it was terribly cold there so he could not rest as well. Mommy was scared to be all alone but managed because the nurses there are all friendly:)

Aug 8 &30

Dear babies,

Its been a while since I last posted an update. Im sorry its been a roller coaster ride. I will forever hold on To those memories. Later will be my 11th wek check up, Wednesday. Its been raining cats and dogs the past few weeks and I had another scare when I bled last Saturday. I felt cramping the whole day and I had spotting with bright red when I woke up. Maybe you cannot tolerate without your duvadilan. Im afraid we are being dependent on that medicine too much. But what can I do? Your safety is the most important thing in the world for us. When I am more ready I will share more details. Keep safe my twins. I am hoping to get another glimpse of your movements later. love you

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dear babies,

how are you? last tues we went to PGh for apas test and it was not a pleasant experience. We were hungry due to fasting and oh my it smells bad there. We will know the results by tom. Hoping it is negative so we will all have peace of mind and less complication. 

Im sorry if we cannot eat enough most of the time. Nagtitipid kasi tayo anak and I feel guilty because mama is taking most of our finances due to medication i need to keep you all safe. Dada is doing his best and a good job in providing for all our needs. We love you and you are our outmost priority. So please bear with mommy and daddy. We are lucky enough to have a home, helpers to manage the house and a car to bring us to places we need to go to. We should always thank papa Jesus for giving us all the blessings most especially for keeping you safe. 

Last time i had my scan, Carlisle changed position 3 times while you Zac burried your head when Dra was trying to measure you. Shy baby. Tomorrow Im guessing you are 16 weeks. Dada will hear mass at 5 am but mama has to stay home so we can rest. I dont want to jeopardize your safety by insisting on going to mass there because last time there was flood. Also Its Sasha's death anniversary tom, 3 years has passed and i had a dream about her last night. Kuya Star on theother hand will be sad because yaya Eden will soon leave us, she needs to go back to Bicol her hometown. We all love you babies. We are excited to see you by Jan next year and this Christmas will be a merry one for me and Dada so excited to see you!

14 weeks and 5 days

I have a theory darling you got dada's genes. :) you are big babies! It was our first time to have your scan at Asian Hospital. You were shy. Carlisle you turned your back when we were trying to get your picture and Zac, you burried your head down and wouldnt face us. Maybe you were hungry and irritable or just simply shy.

You guys are 13 weeks

DEar babies,

i miss wirting. i have some drafts i havent published yet. its been an emotional roller coaster for me and dada and im so tamad to write. i have been placed on bedrest since june 21 probably almost 2 months ago and its been hard. We watched bourne legacy:) im not too afraid now to go out because im not actively bleeding my last spotting was at 9 and 10 weeks.

your tita joni and ate julia went to visit you yesterday and you were both behave because we kept on telling you days before that if you wont behave, we will not eat at Italianis. And i just felt bad that morning because i threw up everything i ate. but the rest of the day you were fine until i woke up in the middle of the night with a strange colds and i had to wake up. Kuya anton is now sick due to dengue he has been hospitalized since last sunday hope he gets well soon tom and will be discharged.

Like i said, im too tired to write my thoughts. I just want you to behave please.

Vanishing Twin Syndrome

It's both sad and good news when we heard that baby number 2 stopped growing and no fetal heartbeat at all. Good news because from 100 Carlisle's heartbeat is now 136 and continues to grow in size. I would love to have twins but God will always know what is best. Doctor's advice is always even if with just one baby, it is better to have one so complications will lessen. And I would be thankful enough because if there was  an abnormality with the second baby, it would be more difficult to raise each one equally. So we love you Carlisle no matter what. We would continue to pray to Lolo Uweng for a safe pregnancy.  LAST SUNDAY: Can I Just Complain? Carlisle, Gianna or Isaac Mommy is having a very difficult day today and I wanna cry but somehow I couldnt afford to become emotional today because i feel really sick and I dont like it babies. I know im doing a good job by just lying in bed most of the time but i dont like lying down because its so hard for me to get up! I threw up 4x today can you be kinder tom? 

Friday Mass at Landayan

I have been going to Sto Sepulchro Church is Landayan, San Pedro laguna for the past 4 fridays. I had to beg Mike to take me since Dra. Morin ordered me on strict bed rest. I compromised that I will just sit while at mass and i did by the way but eventually I asked Mike to just finish the gospel and take me home because im having backpains with the seat. I feel that I don't fit anymore. Anyway, I humbly asked lolo uweng to take away all the pain, subchronic hemorrhage and bless my twins with a good heartbeat or good yolk sac for my next ultrasound. He still gives me peace and hope. I will forever be grateful for Lolo Uweng for showering me with blessings most importantly blessing me with my twins. Carlisle, you are now 5 weeks. Last Thursday during the ultrasound it states you are less than 5 weeks age of gestation. You are not alone, you have a brother or a sister to share with your journey. Please share everything from food, nutrients, oxygen, blood etc. Mommy is always nauseous everytime i try to sit after kying down, when i stand up because of acidity. But i had to sacrifice lying in bed for the next 2 months ahead for you. We love you! If I can make an extra wish it will be a baby girl and a baby boy:)

You Gave Me A Scare

Many woman have pregnancy scare but what I experienced this afternoon was a miscarriage scare once again. Even if you have prepared yourself, your soul and your every being with the possibility of spotting or any pain related to pregnancy issues, you still cannot prepare yourself once fear of losing the baby kicks in. It may feel like remission.  Today is our 6th wedding anniversary and i had spotting. I was scared but not too scared. 

kinakabahan

after two days i have to test again one more sleep but hindi ako mkatulog since i was asleep the whole afternoon. kinakabahan ako na hindi ko maintindihan kasi i have been having back pain which is not a good sign for pregnancy pero siguro kaya sumasakit is because matagal tagal din ako nakahiga today. i just want to blog bout this feeling. I am also on crinone gel today. i hve to hold my wiwi for atleast until 3 am para d naman sayang yung gamot and for the hcg to go up. I am excited tom baby. whatever happens i will still o to mass. my third mass for my nine mass novena sana baby mabuo ko. love you!

Another Pregnancy Test

Oh noh:) Mama thought you are there already with the positive pregnancy test but we have to repeat the pregnancy test by tom, June 15 feast of sacred heart. I am still hopefulmyou are there already baby. Sorry its mama's fault i got excited to test baba. I will go the Lolo Uweng again tom for another prayer. Hope you are still positive tom Carlisle.

Hello Carlisle!

Good job Carlisle! I am not supposed to do a pregnancy test until June 18 according to Dra. Morin and according to my calculations, tom June 14 atleast. But i had a hunch you might show a slight positive or a faint line today. I decided let's go for it. It's Sasha's 7th bday today. I think Sasha talked with Carlisle to show up as her gift for mommy and daddy. In 8 days, it will be our 6th wedding anniversary!What a special surprise!

two week wait

i have been fighting madness within this period or what you call a two week wait. Today is monday and i will test friday, June 15 feast of sacred heart. I have some possible pregnancy symptoms like breast tenderness just today, i have been having vivid dreams for the past 2 nights, craving for pizza, my temp is always up. Ihave read somewhere you can have stuffy nose when pregnant which i have been feeling the past few days. It takes some patience for me not to purchase and use the pregnancy test kit. So Friday it is. I actually have one place now i find it peaceful and full of hope. It's near our home probably just 15 minutes without traffic. The church is called Santo Sepulcro. Or Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Prior to my last ob gyne visit, I attended mass on that day to visit the place and heard mass. People say one must hear mass for 9 executive Fridays. I am done with two masses, so seven more to go. Prayers will keep me sane and i hope Papap Jesus will hear my prayers soon.