April 13

dear dada,

you always know how to comfort me in times of sadness:) thank you! i was a bit upset with the usual negative result. i don't know why until now there are times being sad seems fresh even if i should and must be used to some constant things i have no control. you seem to protect me from returning into depression. you may not be aware but i feel that way.

thank you for healers

hi lailail:) Yesterday, sister EMMA who is a healer went to visit the school. I personally thank God for healers. I was also introduced to Father Ferdinand who is said to be a healing priest also. I felt his presence or the Lord's presence when he touched Dada Mikee and me. Whatever it was, I believe. I thank God for sending Father Suarez, sister Emma and all the healers in this world.

Dada's bday is 2 days from now. I wish next year when he turns 30 we have you na! Oh how much i miss you. I cannot explain anak even up to this day i long for you. Hindi ko alam ano gagawin sayo if girl ka. Because we always dreamed, imagined and loathed for a baby boy. So this blog might be useless if girl ka, lol:)

Dear March

Dearest Carlisle,

How can I miss someone like you when I haven't been around you? Maybe Mama is just frustrated I am still not even close in having you, that Mommy is still not pregnant. So if you can hear me Carlisle, please help Mommy pray ok? I always imagine you in Lucky Me's commercial when i hear the little boy say "sasabihin ko sa mommy ko ang ganda ganda mo:) "

Anyway, last March 21 (three months to go dada and I will be 6 months married) we went to see St Clare's Relic and heard mass. She is one of the Patron Saint in Obando, Bulacan. I was wondering if Mama will dance this year again. Dada cannot anak. He is having bad symptoms again but manageable.

So I decided to try the GM diet for a week again. I'm mostly home so I guess one week of sacrifice during this lent is fine.

Another thing is Dada's birthday is soon! We Don't have money (again) so maybe a simple meal is fine no parties no hotel no usual stuff on birthdays.

If I could have one wish, that is for me to have the discipline to take good care of myself and hopefully make my generative faculties fertile and working.

Star is getting fat too. I dont know why :)

mommy is sick

dear lailail mommy is sick since feb 16 and i feel sorry for dada bec we dont have money nagalaw na savings ni mama lhat money ni dada napunta lang sa mga check up ko tuloy tuloy lang gastos anak buti wla kpa kundi bibigay na si mama sa depression. ilang beses ko naisip malala ang sakit ko and im dying. :( i miss sasha. star is beside me. kinailangan ni mama magslip sa alabang si dada naiwan sa binan. ill talk to you soon slip nako

Clean bill of Health

Sorry i forgot to mention that Mike's recent visit with dr Macalintal was amazing. He was cleared and Doc said see you in 6 months:) what a gift to celebrate new year:)

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Carlisle,

I am now convinced you are my imaginary son for now. Happy new year :) Last jan 23 was a holiday in celebration for chinese new year. Your mama and dada was born under the year of the pig and you may believe it or not but im into feng shui back again. yes anak, feng shui. I said back again because im back in business, my own business. I may have not mentioned tita baby yet but she's my mentor when it comes to fixing my future. You'll get to know her better im pretty sure i need her guidance up to the day you'll be a teenager. So kelan kaya yun? hahahah. she said i will prepare for your ivf this december. Ive been strict with money you know why? Because i want to have you asap. I'm really thinking of doing something to loose weight like walking or learning how to swim. Tita baby said i should not mingle with sasha general merchandise anymore. Just give it up and let dada manage the store. So I'm busy with consigning items to your tito joemil, Nanay from Iloilo (im going thee on the 29th son:) and to sgm. This is surely a busy month. Im sorry coudlnt write as often. Oh sorry i forgot to tell you the whole family went to singapore! Dada did not feel to well when we were at Universal studios. Dont worry anak, when youre a good boy mama dada and lailail (you of course!) will travel within asia and the philippines:) love you baby! i will update pics. Wala aksi internet sa bahay baby.

staying healthy

dear carlisle, sorry im using your dada's ipad so bear with me. so much has happened since i got home. sorry i never mentioned aj yet. he is my babypet. you should not get jelous because i love your kuya star more:) star turned two last christmas:) he loves his bed sometimes but he still prefers to sleep on the floor. another fact is im not getting better with my cough. anak isang buwan na ako may ubo. so last 26 dada and i went to fuego and then we swam in the beach akala ko my cough will be gone. anyway, imagine just to have you dada and i tried accupuncture. i was so hoepful during the first sessions but now after the second section, im thinking hard wether to continue or not with the whole process. mind you its very pricey considering both needed treatments so we spent 4 thousand for two sessions in a week.i wish anak i will see you next year. in chinese astrology its year of the dragon next year so hopefully i will be seeing you. i will talk to myself daily to say affirmations especially seeing you next year:)